Added: Rochell Million - Date: 05.12.2021 01:39 - Views: 48286 - Clicks: 1736
This piece was inspired by my good friend MovingTarget, and his feelings for a former lover. They are no longer together, and yet he continues to feel for her, as if her blood was somehow in his veins. Many of us have been there. And while I too consider myself a type of romantic, this essay would serve to share with MovingTarget some uncommon wisdom from Men of the Game in similar circumstances.
While MovingTarget inspired this post, my knowledge of his relationship to his former lover reminded me of a piece of writing I read years ago. It is some of the wise thinking in that introduction that I want to share here. The book came out in the mids. This post is for MovingTarget. It begins as a sensual excitation, and it has no other satisfying outcome than carnal pleasure, with the woman who inspires it.
You see her and you want to fuck her. And that is not a position men want to be in. The first, addresses how fantasy can disable us and detour us from a more fulfilling course of events. A man meets a girl. Yet as a fantasy translates a physical arousal into a series of mental images, it also turns a sensual excitation into an attraction to a specific person.
While a man fantasizes about the woman he desires, he comes to realize that she too is a desiring subject, and that his own pleasure depends on his ability to communicate his fantasy to her. In other words, fantasies give rise to the specifically human art of seduction.
There is a lot going on there. Feher is explaining our behavior in interesting terms. First… and this is not a small thing… the URGE is about sex. And the urge is NOT about any specific girl. There is something interesting and subtle and honest there.
Not any specific prey. Not at all. This is it. This is what this post about. Feher is interesting and has an original voice to my ears. I like this. And it fills in some of the psychological mechanics of an otherwise slightly-better-than-animal process. Indeed, lovers can let their fantasies stray: for instance, their unbridled imagination can lead them to believe that their desires need no carnal outlet.
He is saying… men will often leap-frog over the original urge to fuck, not fuck at all, chase the girl endlessly, and use the byproducts of the fantasy to justify their situation.
Dead on. MovingTarget is not alone. Many of us have been in this phase… this is what orbiters are all about. They see past the absurdity of Disney convention. Hence the discontents that the libertines, in agreement with many philosophers of their century, associate with civilization. And even as a seducer… I know the TradCons are right on that point. When in reality, nerdy-nice guys rarely ever get what they pine after. And once we can see… we can start to unlearn bluepill conditioning… and perhaps claim some of the tools of seducers for our own aims.
All Disney propaganda to the seducer. And long, long before Disney, the Libertines were dodging those same bullets. And I like many things about those guys. But I know that those guys are correct when they push us all toward that path. That IS the right thing… for most people… if you want a stable society and you should.
I agree with that. And I admire the efforts of men like The Family Alpha to lead men in that direction.
I am okay to wait two-four dates for sex if need bebut many guys are much more impatient than that. However… to slow down the charge of the young bucks, to make things a little more predictable, steady and orderly… yeah, that is precisely what civilization is all about. Central to this channeling of desire is the institution of marriage, which often implies a severe condemnation of all other sexual relations.
I am convinced that society could not function if we were all players. Society, the health of children, the general peace… they require this civilizing process. And even if I fail to win any approval from TradCons, I see no conflict there.
My personal take on all this is that daygamers and seducers ARE a threat to order and civilization. Most of us will find mild, middling success if that. And a few guys will poke more pussy than a gynecologist. In fact, most of the fucking will be done by us certainly, in terms of the s of girls fucked. The threat of being seen as a slut and being deprived of resources will keep the women in check on the surface, anyway.
And then… the rest of the action all takes place behind the veil of the Secret Society. A small detour here… some comments on the nature of women. They are taught to be modest and faithful, and to take pride in resisting their own desires. The Disney virtues are focused on women. But the girls…. There is a reason why these dictums work better on women than men. They have more to lose both physically and socially than men, for taking sexual risks outside of sanctioned, pro-civilization allowances.
True then as it is now. Although, admittedly, we know the School of Sex in the City has taken some of the sting off of the former stigma. And as seducers, we, of course, work toward the latter asment.
In fact, I like women that mostly buy the traditional narrative… civilized girls that make an exception for me. I also know girls can play both angles. I am sure some of those girls actually are sexually inexperienced. This is a great lead-in into the Secret Society part of this piece. But first… more about love. Sex… derailed. Not only derailed… but replaced. This is key. Replaced… but, with what exactly? What do we call it when men willingly look past the sex, and continue the pursuit, with non-sexual justifications? In short, a frustrated lover tends to lose sight of the natural purpose of his own fantasy : forgetting sexual pleasure, he lets his desire pursue dead ends, which engender nothing but melancholy.
This is what it feels like to be an orbiter. This post is at full geek-level seduction theory, but is full of flesh-level lessons. For me, at least… seeing it spelled out like this, helps me see it as it happens, so I can move back on track with more productive pursuits. Again, I still claim to be a bit of a romantic. There is certainly some upside to feelings of love. This essay is a warning against all that. At a personal level, the closest I can speak of love in the momentis my former lover Miss Thick.
She ended things with me, and believe me, I still think of her often. MovingTarget is not alone in how this works. To keep this in the context of this piece… 1. Miss Thick and I did get to carnal pleasure. It took me a few dates to get her naked, but then ours was a very sexual affair. And, 2. When she ended it… it was not as if I could just shut my feelings off… but I was wise enough to immediately point my feelings into more productive quarters.
And the day after. I know you get it. But this is a meditation on your freedom and sovereignty as a man. I write all this in tribute to you. Something like chivalrous notions of romance and dedication, that work out to be false promises made to ourselves and self-made prisons. Moving past the original goals of this piece, the notes from Feher go quite a bit further.Libertine seeking a nice guy
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